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I Wanna Be a Tanker

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Comments: 24
LordXenophon said...
  • excited
This song is about a wannabe noob who wants to be a tank. That's all there is to it, really. However, a couple of the rhymes are easier to get if you keep in mind that as a wannabe noob, he doesn't necessarily know how to pronounce "pwnz."

This handy video of the original may be helpful to those of you who aren't familiar with this song.




I Wanna Be a Tanker
by LordXenophon

Based on "I Wanna Be a Cowboy"
by Boys Don't Cry


Logging on the game...
I've got my shield
On.
I've got my sword
Bloody.

I've got my helmet
On my head.
It's been t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-twinked,
Of course.

I wanna be a tanker
And you can be my healer.
I wanna be a tanker
And you can be my healer.
I wanna be a tanker.

Exploring the deep dungeon.
Healing for my tank.
His name is Pwnzy.
Can you pronounce that? {Pwnz! I Pwnz! Fighting the monsters!}
Farming all these quests
Rakes in the XP.
Makes me level quickly,
Though we all do sometimes.

I wanna be a tanker
And you can be my healer.
I wanna be a tanker
And you can be my healer.
I wanna be a tanker.

Looking like a warrior,
Scabbard at my side,
Sucking down the potions {chug chug chug BURP!}
Out there in the forest
I see a cloud of names.
Horde is on the warpath.
{Guild recruitment faire}
{By the noobie rock!}
Or not.

I wanna be a tanker
And you can be my healer.
I wanna be a tanker
And you can be my healer.
I wanna be a tanker.

My name is Pwnzy
And one day I'll respawn. Doh! Doh! Doh!
Everquest

Everquest (PC)

Genre/Style: Role-playing/Persistent World Online RPG
Release Date: 26/MAR/98
Lineage

Lineage (PC)

Genre/Style: Unknown/Unknown
Release Date:
Emblem for Genome

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Genome

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24
Comments
I'd see it working if it had a own recording. It is not revolutionary but would be funny to listen to possibly.
haha nice shiz
Needs MOAR L4D references!
Awesome. Pure awesome.
LOL thats great!
@Torinir If I had intended to make any L4D references, it would have ccome out completely different.
you just get better and better at this.
I believe L4D references were requested.

Walking down the street...
I've got my shot
Gun.
I've got my big
Grits pan.

I shoot a zombie
Off your back.
It's a t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tank
Of course.

I wanna shoot a zombie,
And you can throw a pipe bomb.
I wanna shoot a zombie,
And you can throw a pipe bomb.
I wanna shoot a zombie
See? Completely different.
Sorry. I should've started with "And now for something completely different..."
...but then you'd have been repeating myself.
Nice. Now you just have to actually record it XD
I would say you forgot the misson of the Tank. Ahem, "I'm bait, I'm bait, I'm bait." Then of course theres the rest of the group yelling for you to get off your arse go out and Pull!!!!!! ;-P
There's also a few other background lines I didn't bother to write changes for - all the yippy-yippys and stuff.
LOL, I like this. prolly Because I love to be a Tank! \o/
That last line is the best. He must not be a very good tank.
hey even tanks have bad days.
Sometimes, they also have bad haircuts. I'm told it can assist in the tanking somehow, though I'm not sure how that works.
Some haircuts are like an auto-taunt ability. They draw lots of agro from "proper" people.
yes it's the "Oh nice crew-cut Lurch" aggro buff. This is usually followed by the "What the FUCK did you call me?!" taunt.

Followed by a failed evade and flee attempt, which leads to the "10 minutes later when you wake up in a back alley with a stop sign rammed up your ass for calling a large man lurch and making fun of his hair, and oh my god couldn't he have at least used some Preparation H before he......"


Anyway....yeah.
@BofusTeefus 10 stars =]
um. what's with the black stripes on the web pages?
Black stripes? I just get so much white background, then it's black the rest of the way down.
Same here. They must have accidentally made the background non-repeating.
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